I recently attended an Aurora social and there was some discussion around the awkwardness of meeting your assigned mentor for the first time. Reaching out and hoping they respond, then hoping you get on, and that you can picture yourself working with them. Even if all is well, there can be an sheepish “shall we do this again?” moment where you both commit to the mentor/mentee relationship.
Having heard from other Aurorans about this, naturally I was a little nervous when I met with my Aurora mentor yesterday for the first time. Our meeting was complicated by the fact that I had been around someone with a cold and (whilst feeling fine) I was worried I might pass something on. I masked up, and we met in a campus café near to her office.
I needn’t have worried. My mentor was lovely and whilst our conversation was a little silted at first, that felt like any getting-to-know-you phase. We talked about our career journeys, and I voiced some of the concerns that had been worrying me about my (lack of) career plan. Even in this initial meeting she offered reassurance and some useful tips on ways to develop, without having a bigger plan in place. By the end it felt like she understood my motivations and career concerns and was looking forward to helping me explore some possible solutions.
Ahead of the session I had looked at the Mentor resources provided by Aurora and was worried that if we’d needed to go through these, then it’d have been a very abrupt conversation and I’d not know how to succinctly answer many of the questions! I’d find it hard to discuss in a one hour meeting such big questions as “What is the role of challenge, honesty and amount of disclosure that is appropriate and relevant?”
The many questions were grouped by four themes and whilst we may not have discussed things explicitly like the nature of confidentiality, we did cover all of the themes to a certain extent.
- Personal – Build rapport by introducing yourself and gain an understanding of the background of the mentee.
- Professional – Discuss the roles and responsibilities for both mentor and mentee. Define the scope of the relationship.
- Procedural – Define and agree expectations for meetings, paperwork and timings.
- Psychological – Discuss how you can best work together. Agree rules of confidentiality, giving feedback and how sessions will run.
I’m somewhat sceptical of the advice to follow that structure. Whilst I understand that the drawing of clear boundaries is obviously something that is beneficial to both parties, it does feel somewhat forced. Perhaps it’s something that if we practice will become more normalised, but until then, I’m happy for these things to evolve in a more naturalistic way. I’m already looking forward to meeting with my mentor again, both to reflect on my career plan and on the Aurora sessions.